Here in Portland, Divorce Lawyers have a multifaceted job. We are part advocate for the client and part scrivener (a fancy word document writer); but one of our most important jobs is to be a counselor and negotiator. As tempers flair and emotion starts to control your actions in a separation, it is our job to help cool you down and find the easiest, cheapest, and best path for your divorce.
I read an interesting article in the Huffington Post the other day that addresses a common issue when negotiating for a settlement in a divorce. What happens when one spouse does not want to get divorced? Often the party will drag its feet, be slow to produce documents, be unwilling to accept mediation, and generally do everything possible to prolong the process. The author suggests that in these situations it is best to bide your time and let the other party come to terms with the divorce
More often than not, the one who wants the divorce will grow impatient and become less tolerant of the other’s reluctance. They typically begin to resent the other party for delaying the process or perhaps overplaying the trauma card, and this attitude complicates and inflames everything. It never pays to rattle someone who has power over us. And make no mistake; if the goal is to settle out of court, the spouse who wants the divorce the least is the one with the power.
I think these are great suggestions for improving the results of your negotiations on a settlement. However, sometimes you need force the hand of the other party. Fortunately, in Portland, we have the advantage of laws that help us do that and move the process along at a swifter pace.
Depending on the county, when we file for divorce, a trial date is automatically scheduled. That date is usually 6 – 10 months in advance and serves as a negotiation point-of-no-return. Additionally, we have the ability to force mediation in disputes, which often results in the parties being more interested in settling. The reality is that the other party is no more interested in going to trial than you are interested in going to trial. With that automatic trial date, we have found that the parties become more and more willing to come to an agreement as it draws near.
However, to get that ball rolling you need get an advocate on your side. Indeed, no matter where you are in the divorce process, it is important to have a lawyer who knows how to be an effective negotiator and an effective manager of the settlement process. The Portland divorce lawyers at Goldberg Jones know how to be both and how to protect the rights of men throughout Clackamas, Multnomah and Washington County. Feel free to contact us and we’ll answer your questions on the phone for free – (503) 731-8888.