The right of first refusal can be an important piece of a child custody order. After divorce or guardianship battles, non-custodial parents can use this measure to spend as much time with their kids as possible.
What Is the Right of First Refusal in Child Custody?
A right of first refusal clause gives one parent the first opportunity to care for their children when the other parent needs childcare during scheduled parenting time, subject to the terms of the custody order.
It often makes up for limited visitation and can take many forms.
Examples
If your ex has a date, you can look after the kids instead of using a babysitter.
If the custodial parent plans a solo vacation, the non-custodial parent may have the first opportunity to care for the kids, depending on the terms of the agreement.
Depending on the agreement, you may have the opportunity to care for your children while your ex works, rather than sending them to daycare.
Related Reading: Enforcement Proceedings: What To Do If Your Ex Violates A Parenting Plan
Common Questions
Does the right of first refusal ultimately benefit you, your ex, and, most importantly, your children? The answer isn’t always as simple as it seems.
Basically, you need to decide how it will work ahead of time, and there’s a lot to consider.
How often will these situations arise?
Will this be a regular occurrence or a once-in-a-blue-moon type of scenario? You need to make a plan based on your circumstances and the overall situation.
Does work-related childcare figure into the agreement?
One parent may want to include work-related childcare to maximize parenting time, while the other may prefer to maintain an established daycare routine.
Is there a minimum time requirement?
Does the right of first refusal cover quick grocery trips, or does it require an absence of several hours or an overnight stay?
What about extended family members?
Can your ex leave the kids with their grandparents or an aunt, or do you always get the first shot?
Related Reading: Finding the Best Child Custody Lawyer: What Qualities To Look For
When Do Problems Arise With A Right of First Refusal?
When discussing the right of first refusal, include specifics and exceptions for clarity. While it may fit some situations, it can worsen already tense or difficult circumstances.
Bad Communication Skills
This arrangement requires both parents to communicate and cooperate. If the relationship is already contentious, the additional contact may create more opportunities for conflict.
Overreliance
The custodial parent may come to rely on this setup, assuming the other parent will drop everything immediately. No one wants to feel they’re being taken advantage of.
Inconsistency
Inconsistent notification, last-minute requests, or unpredictable scheduling can create frustration and conflict between parents.
Supervised Visitation
When one parent’s time with the child is limited to supervised visitation, the right of first refusal may run counter to the minor’s best interest. It may also prove impractical.
Distance
Depending on where you live, crisscrossing town and fighting traffic may make this arrangement impractical.
Domestic Violence
If there is a history of domestic violence between the two parties, the right of first refusal may cause more harm than good.
Related Reading: Can Your Ex Stop the Kids From Playing Sports?
When Is It the Right Choice?
The right of first refusal can provide valuable additional parenting time, but it isn’t appropriate for every family. Clear expectations, practical arrangements, and the children’s best interests should guide the decision.
Related Reading: What Are a Father’s Rights In Oregon?